شنا با دوچرخه!
می‌خواین بدونید الان چه حالی دارم؟ بذارید بگم (البته اگه نمی‌خواید بدونید این قسمت رو نخونید!):
حال کسی رو که از ساعت 8.5 صبح رفته دانشگاه؛ بعد از کلی دوندگی وقتی 8 شب خواسته بیاد خونه مجبور شده با دوچرخه‌ مسیر دانشگاه تا خونه رو شنا کنه! (آخه مثل سیل بارون میومد).

این دو عکس رو در همون سفری که گزارشی ازش داده بودم گرفتم(البته نه در لوگزامبورگ این عکسها در آلمان گرفته شده) به نظر من بد نیستن نظر شما چیه؟! (روی عکس‌ها کلیک کنید لطفا)

  ;  

دختر شایسته استرالیا بعنوان دختر شایسته عالم (Miss Universe) انتخاب شد. به نظر من که دختر شایسته آلمان (شرمین شهریور) که ایرانی‌الاصل هست خیلی زیباتره! نظر شما چیه؟ دوستان میتونن عکسها رو اینجا ببینن! روی یکی از عکس‌ها اگر کلیک کنید بقیه رو هم می‌توانید ببینید(ببخشید به انگلیسی هر چه گشتم گیر نیاوردم.) سایت رسمیشون هم کار نمی‌کنه.
اینهم در دنباله اون پست قبلیم در مورد انگلیسی به روش اوزی یا استرالیایی! همکار استرالیاییم بعد از اینکه اونو دید و کلی خندید و اینو برام فرستاد...با این توضیح که ستون اول کاملا استرالیاییه! دستور‌العملی برای اینکه کارمندان از ادبیات بهتری استفاده کنند. ببخشید طولانیه ولی ارزشش رو داره.

Workplace Protocol
It has been brought to the attention of management that some individuals have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with other employees. Due to the complaints from some employees who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. Nonetheless, we do realise the critical importance of individuals being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with fellow employees. Therefore a list of code phrased replacements has been compiled so exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive co-workers.

Old Phase --------> Preferred New Phrase
No fucking way.-----> I’m certain that is not feasible
You’ve got to be shitting me.-----> Really
Tell someone who gives a fuck.-----> Perhaps you should check with
Ask me if I give a fuck.-----> Of course I’m concerned
It’s not my fucking problem.-----> I wasn’t involved in that project
What the fuck.-----> Interesting
Fuck it, it won’t work.----> I’m not sure I can implement this
Why the fuck didn’t you tell me sooner?-----> I’ll try to schedule that
When the fuck do you expect me to do this?-----> Perhaps I can work late
Who the fuck cares?-----> Are you sure this is a problem
He’s got his head up his arse.-----> He’s not familiar with the problem.
Eat shit.-----> You don’t say
Eat shit and die.-----> Excuse me
Eat shit and die motherfucker.-----> Excuse me, Sir
What the fuck do they want from life?-----> They weren’t happy with it, then
Kiss my arse.-----> So you’d like my help with that
Fuck it, I’m on salary.-----> I don’t think you understand
Shove it up your arse.-----> I love a challenge
Who the hell died and made you the boss?-----> You want me to take care of this
Blow me.-----> I see
Blow yourself.-----> Do you see
Another fucking meeting.-----> Yes, we really should discuss this
I really don’t give a shit.-----> I don’t think it will be a problem
He’s a fucking prick.-----> He’s somewhat insensitive
She’s a ball-breaker.-----> She’s an aggressive go-getter
You don’t know what the fuck you are doing.--> I think you could use some more training
This place is all fucked up.-----> We are a little disorganised
What sort of fuckwit are you?-----> You’re new here, aren’t you
Get out of my fucking life, shithead.-----> There ya go
You’re a fucking wanker.-----> You’re my manager and I respect you for that
You’re a paranoid nut case.-----> Oh! You’re from Sydney
You’re a fucking brown-nose.-----> You’re an exceptional worker
Go and get fucked, you dickhead.-----> I no longer require your assistance
Will you fuck off ...OK?-----> Leave it with me – I’ll look into it
How the fuck did you get this load of shit to work?--->Your design work is exemplary
You haven’t got a fucking hope, you dickhead.-----> I believe you have your abilities confused with your ambitions
Shut the fuck up, you lying prick.----->I think some clarification is called for
If I want shit I’ll squeeze your head.----->I don’t require your assistance yet
Sucked in, you fucking loser.----->That was terribly unfortunate, was it not
Do that again and I’ll fucking drop you.----->I think you should exercise better judgement in the future
What the fuck do you think you’re doing?----->Are you acting within your delegation
Fuck off, arsehole.----->I don’t entirely agree with your suggestion

Permanent Link □ نوشته شده در ساعت 9:05 PM توسط fa